


ROLLING GIRL

by TheBroken



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drama, F/F, Feels, Hurt, Kinks, Lesbian Sex, Mental Health Issues, canon lesbian characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBroken/pseuds/TheBroken
Summary: Sometimes, no matter what your intentions are, or what you do, it just seems that nothing works anyway.Darkness.
Relationships: Mizusawa Matsuri/Taniguchi Harumi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	ROLLING GIRL

**Author's Note:**

> This not a part of my usual Haru/Matsu canon... It's just an idea I came up with this morning...

Matsuri lifted her face up off of Harumin's lap and whispered wearily:

 _"Honey... I just want you to feel good, I just want to please you!"_ Her eyes bore a look of long-suffering sadness, born by many weekends such as this.

_"Please relax, Harumin!"_

Tears of frustration stood in the other's eyes- she couldn't bear to look the smaller girl in the face at the moment.

"I-I'm trying to relax, Mattie! I just... It's just no Goddamn good!" she growled in her frustration. "It's just not working out!" Embarrassment and shame were written all over her expression; the younger girl had been trying everything she could think of for nearly an hour... _yet again._

"My jaw is getting sore, I've been trying so hard! Is it me, Harumin? I know I'm not as well built as you... but people say I'm pretty!' Matsuri smiled hopefully. 'Is it... Is there anything...special...that you want me to do- or even that you'd like to do to me? Don't be afraid to say- that you'd shock me, or anything like that! I'm open to different things- and you know I'm a bit perverted, anyway...' and here, she batted her eyes comically- 'And I'd do almost anything if it would get you off! I'm serious! Just like...' her voice caught-

"Just like I'm serious when I tell you I'm in love with you!" The pretty girl cuddled her head against Harumin in tender longing. She was genuinely anxious for her lover, and old feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem were rising to the surface again.

"Is it that... I'm not enough, somehow? I know I'm not gifted in the boob department..." she stopped talking, and looked to the other for some sign of assurance that she was good enough, attractive enough, the lover she desired to be with.

Harumin inclined her impressive upper body over to the smaller girl and gently held her worried face in one hand.

"Mattie... you're a very pretty girl! You have a very cute figure... It's not that you are inadequate in any way! It's just... Dammit, I don't know what's wrong!" And she went silent, seemingly unwilling to speak any further on the matter, or part with any idea she had on the subject.

Matsuri sighed deeply, toying with a lock of the busty beauty's auburn hair. Not for the first time, she cursed having the mind of a grown woman in her slim girls' body- Both with _all_ the same emotional and physical needs. "Harumin... we've tried to make love six times since you decided you wanted to be with me, and we'd go all the way together. And all six times..." Tears began to gather in her eyes. 'All six times, it's ended like this! I try and try to do things to please you, nothing seems to work, you get embarrassed and try your damnedest to see that _I_ don't leave unsatisfied... and _you_ get nothing but pain and frustration. " She shook her head, going silent for a moment. Harumin remained impassive throughout, an unreadable expression on her face.

"You know..." And suddenly, she smiled. "I recall that you were _always_ rough-housing with me _before and after_ we started dating? I always had a sneaky idea that it turned you on, Honey! Is that what you need to get it going? Don't be shy, lover! If you need to be forceful with me, or hold me down... or even tie me up, or something like that? And I wouldn't object,' she added with a smirk, 'If you did even more to me, provided you didn't _actually hurt me_..." she waited patiently for the idea to percolate thru the other's thoughts.

Harumin sighed. She _had_ to try _something,_ didn't she? She had agreed to this relationship under no coercion, after all... unless it was Matsuri's persistence. She pushed the smaller girl back on the bed, gathering her willing arms in one hand, and pinning them over her head. She brought her body closer to the other, who kept trying to capture her breasts in her mouth. They would be visibly bruised later, she knew from experience, by now, and there would be a need to put makeup on them if she wore her more revealing tops for the next week or so. But she didn't care, her nipples might as well have been lifeless under the pink-haired girl's ardent attentions. She felt no excitement, or really, much of anything else as she slid a knee between the slim legs, feeling her struggle a little to tease her. At last, she pushed them apart., bringing her free hand between her own thighs where she crouched astraddle the other's hips, to slowly walk her fingers down to the smoothly-shaven and damp destination between the other's legs.

 _"How does she get excited so quickly, '_ she thought, _'When I can't seem to at all!? Am I frigid, or what the Fuck is going on here?"_ Frustrated beyond measure, how she envied her, somewhere in the tormented depths of her soul. _"God, I'm messed up!"_

She began the methodical work with her graceful fingers, Matsuri responding with soft moans. She had found out how to do it from Matsuri herself, who, quite a shameless exhibitionist, had delightedly demonstrated it to her in an attempt to both show her what she liked, and to try and get her hot. Never having been one even to masturbate; all the information Harumin knew about sex had come from books, Smalltalk, and mangas.

 _"I can't even be normal that way!'_ she thought bitterly, _'I can't even get myself off! What am I doing in a relationship?"_

At any rate, she knew she didn't have it in her to try and go down on the more than willing girl; That had proven to be a fiasco last time they were in bed together, So she kept doing what she was doing, and hoped it would work out.

Matsuri was moaning louder now, so much, she had stopped mangling the heavy breasts above her, her hips pulsing against the sure, steady, piston-like drive of Harumins thrust, hitting that perfect spot the younger girl had shown her. She had been fascinated the first couple of times watching her give way to pleasure and had wondered if she could ever do the same. She saw the attractive, pale face begin to flush red, which slowly spread down to her breasts with the strength of her impending orgasm. A light mist of sweat shone on her hot skin.

"She's totally into it!" Harumin thought in awe. Matsuri bore a look of pure, unrepentant rapture, the unfocused blue eyes rolled from side to side in abandon. She was about to have her typically loud orgasm soon, her lover wondering all over again how she did it, what miracle she possessed that allowed her just to let go, and...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she suddenly cried out beneath her, trailing to whimpers as she pushed her hips upward in joyous spasms, breath coming out in hot gasps, as the girl above her kept thrusting her fingers, lost in her own deep internal world.

_"Is it over?... Oh!"_

_"Harumin! Please stop, stop Honey!"_ Matsuri had freed her hands and grabbed the other's. She had lost track of what was happening once again, but, but was grateful now that it was over, and that she had at least accomplished something for Matsuri.

"God, Harumin, when you kept doing me, I thought I was going to pass out! That was intense!" She threw her arms around the tall girl, kissing her fiercely.

 _"Rubber."_ thought Harumin. _'My lips feel like they're made of rubber." Feeling so_ empty again, like she was alone, or with the...

_The wrong person._

_Her gaze searched around the room, vacantly, but came to abrupt life for the first time tonight when they fell..._

_On a photograph, she always kept there on the end table._

Matsuri sensed something had changed in her, and let her go. "W-What's wrong, Harumin? She was puzzled. 'Don't you want me to... I mean..." and then her eyes followed the other girl's.

The sad, distracted girl was looking in the most heartbreaking, hurting, and longing way... at a picture of her, and **_Yuzu,_** holding each other in a big, sweet, affectionate...

 ** _Platonic_** hug.

Matsuri's hands came up to her shocked face in a gesture of sudden realization, a look of awful pain and understanding spreading across the pretty features just as Harumin realized what was happening. The hazel-eyed girl's bland facade began to crack, as a look of abject shame and misery replaced the former expression. She remained quiet, her head dropped upon her chest as the emotions washed over her at last.

 _"Be careful what you wish for!'_ she reflected miserably, _'I wanted to **feel something**... didn't I?"_

Matsuri, looking very small and frail, got up slowly and shakily from the bed, not saying a single word, and began to robotically pull on her clothes. giving one wounded look backward at the girl she loved, she forced a painful sob back down with all of her willpower, as she stumbled out of the room, her aching heart shattering with every lonely step.

_Tears streaming down her lovely face, Harumin continued sitting on the bed alone in tortured silence, for a long time afterward..._


End file.
